• What if we were never really intended to be in balance all the time?
  • What if balance, as most people think of it, is an illusion?

Today I am going to share my musings and awareness on this age-old topic of Balance.

Think about it, how often in your life have you felt like everything is in balance? Like you spend the perfect amount of time and energy each day on yourself, your family, your community and your career?

I believe most of you would answer that question with a resounding NO. When you are in the midst of a tight deadline for your work, that is going to get the majority of your attention; yet when you go on vacation with your family they are the ones who receive the attention. If you are not feeling well, you would be wise to place more focus on yourself and your well being. On and on it goes… there are a million different circumstances that demand varying amounts of your attention at any given time. This is the normal ebb and flow of life.

We get things done by placing our attention upon the things that demand it at that time. I am not talking about being distracted by every little thing that comes along. I am referring to placing our attention upon the things in life that are truly valuable to us and require attention.

People do not achieve success in their chosen career by ignoring deadlines and dealing with it later when they happen to feel like it. So too, they do not go on vacation by simply deciding they wish to, it takes some intention and attention for the vacation to unfold.

I have had far too many people ask me in session and class about how to maintain balance and the answer I receive is consistent. There is no one definition for balance, and it is crucial to look at it from a larger perspective, not just day-to-day. I have, over time, come to believe that day-to-day balance is an illusion.

Of course, it is worthwhile to carve out some time each day/week for self-care, for family and friends, and for activities you enjoy.  But maybe there are some days that get more family time, and other days that get more self-care time. Does that mean you are out of balance? Not necessarily, it may mean you are responding appropriately to circumstances.

If we look at balance from a larger perspective, that is when we can begin to see patterns evolve. If you look at your life, and you are always too busy to exercise or take care of yourself, that is not balanced. Similarly, if you look at your life and you are consistently putting in 60-70 hours a week at work and never see your family, that is not balanced. On the other hand, spending all day, every day doing nothing is not balanced either.

However, if you take a step back and see bits of intense activity focused on career, family, friends, self-care and personal development, then you may be living a more balanced life than you give yourself credit for.

My advice is to follow your passions, get excited and caught up in things, give it all your energy at the time it is needed. Just be sure to do that will all aspects of your life. Give your undivided attention to friends, family, career and self at various times throughout your days and weeks. Undivided attention is far more valuable (particularly to other people in your life) than fitting everything into every day and only giving each thing a fraction of your attention.

Live large, live intensely and find your own balance.