Let me explain…
The next step in the art of observation is to recognize that just because we do not like something, it does not make it bad. It is a valid choice, just not our choice. Example. Not liking the taste of a certain food does not make that food good or bad, it simply creates awareness about our choice to ingest it.
But what happens as you practice the art of observation and you get a strong reaction from someone else. It may knock you off your centre, cause you to wonder what you did or said that offended the other person. What has often happened in these situations is that the topic of conversation is a trigger for the other person, often a hidden trigger. They may not even know what they are reacting to, or why they are reacting so strongly..
You make a comment from a place of ‘observation’ and they react from a place of judgement…self judgement…hidden self-judgement!
Suddenly their feelings are hurt because you are ‘judging’ them, even though you had no intention to do so.
Or maybe the interaction is exactly the opposite of this. They have made a comment that totally triggers you and you have a huge reaction, wondering how they could be so judgey, or why they would say such a thing..
These are the golden moments that can create tremendous clarity for self, if you take the time to go within and simply acknowledge your feelings as a response to your beliefs, letting go of the guilt that you caused their reaction, or blamed that they caused yours.
What you say, believe, judge and perceive is about you, and what others say, believe, judge and perceive is about them.
I am not suggesting it is okay to go around intentionally inflicting harm through comments to others, and then passing it off as their hurt feelings being their problem. I am suggesting a process of self-empowerment so what others say has less power over your state of being, as well as their reaction to what you say has less ability to inflict guilt for you.
This can be referred to as Standing in the Centre of Your Own Orbit; understanding what shows up in your immediate circle has far more to do with you, who you are and what you vibrate than it has to do with what others say, the state of the world, or what others are up to in their lives..
Just imagine if everyone was able to operate from that centre, a place of no blame, no shame, and no guilt. That is the world I aim to create for myself. Some days I get there, other days – not so much! But at least I have the tools to get their most days..