“The best way to predict the future is to create it!” Dr. Joe Dispenza

My message for 2016 has included the need to take care of our stuff (whatever that may mean to you). To take care of it, or it will be flying in our faces to be sure it is taken care of. To me, that means taking the next step towards being our authentic selves. Showing up in the world as we truly are, not how we think someone else wants us to show up. 

And this is an ongoing journey, not a certain destination. It is about having our personal checks and balances in place to ensure we are following our own bliss, not acting out of obligation to others.  Acknowledging that there may be some guilt around these choices, but choosing to support self anyway.

There are two components to this process. First is not expecting others to behave in a certain way to make us happy. The second is letting go of the obligation to behave in ways to make others happy.

If everyone took care of their own energy and needs, rather than expecting others to do it for them, it would be a much happier world. Why should someone else be responsible to behave in a way that makes us happy? Particularly if that, in turn, makes them unhappy? And vice-versa, why should we behave in a way that makes another happy, but stifles us?

If we each took responsibility for our own happiness, there would be no need to set unrealistic expectations of others, to blame others, or to feel guilt for choosing our own needs over others. In truth, what makes their needs, desires and expectations any more important than ours? Nothing does, nothing except perception. And that is where a lot of people get stuck; in the perception that other’s expectations are more important than our own.

I am not talking about running over others to meet our own needs, as that is just another version of expecting others to fulfill our personal desire to be happy. This is an inside job, a personal journey to balance and peace with self.

So this begs the questions:
1) What is it that would bring you peace and contentment in 2016?
2) What are you doing to achieve it now?
3) What do you plan to do to achieve it? When?
4) Who do you need to make peace with to allow them to have their own experience?

Please do not think of this as a New Years Resolution, as we all know how those work. Rather a choice to become more aware of our expectations of self and of others. A turning back to self to make things right, rather than blaming others, and advising them on how to fix themselves so we can be right.

Oh, the weight that is lifted when we are no longer responsible for fixing other’s behaviour, or for their happiness! This still may require a working-through and making peace process, which may, in turn, lead to different personal choices. But rather than the need to confront, correct, rescue, etc. it allows the option to make peace with self and with others. PERIOD!